Toys R Us is hiring for the holidays! Toys R Us is going bankrupt! President Trump said any Toys R Us employee who takes a knee in the stuffed animal aisle should be fired! OK, the third item is (presently) false; but the first two, conflicting as they may appear, were announced recently by the…
How many iPhone revisions, updates and unveilings must I sit through before hearing the one feature every parent craves has finally become reality? “MDILMP,” also known as “Mom, Dad, I Lost My Phone.” Recently, I watched Apple CEO Tim Cook enthusiastically announce the new features on the iPhone 8, iPhone 8 Plus and iPhone X, the latter featuring a price tag…
In no particular order, here is my list of top three tangible items that should never be merged: —$2 chicken wings and a Fitbit —Octogenarians and Snapchat —Alcohol and anyone wanting to discuss politics The remainder of this column will focus on the latter, now that I have received an official invitation, via my Facebook…
The shiny refrigerator sits in my kitchen, hovering over all the other appliances. It features an exterior water and ice dispenser, a digital control panel that allows me to choose whether I prefer my ice cubed or crushed, a crisper humidity control and “flip-up’ shelving units. It is quite technologically advanced. Also, it is quite…
Seven years ago, my wife and I purchased a half-acre tract of land adjacent to our house, entering the topsy-turvy world of real estate investment. It was never our intention to build anything on the property, despite our neighbors’ suggestions that one or more recreational entities would look simply smashing on it, provided they were…
Every time I purchase a new car, I always vow that, unlike my previous vehicles, I will keep this one sparkling clean. Forever. I will hand buff its exterior with paste wax weekly, never mind the shoulder and rotator cuff pain I will experience midway through this arduous task. Its windshield and grill will quickly…
Donald Trump Jr. may soon need a new job. Actually, including “new” in that sentence may be erroneous or, “fake news,” as his dad is fond of saying. You see, I’m not sure what our president’s namesake does for a living. I do know he poses with hunting rifles and animal carcasses, but I don’t…
I arrived at the famed Wrigley Field bleachers on July 4 wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a Chicago Cubs jersey, the latter I planned to discard by the third inning. I left four hours later, the jersey spotted with mustard and reeking of spilled beer, two ballpark staples that should have landed on my bare skin. Darn…
A former Chicago Tribune reporter named Kevin Pang, who is now the food editor for entertainment website The A.V. Club., recently tweeted: “Confession: When I was a critic there were 2 restaurants in Chicago so good I kept to myself & never wrote about. Is this against some code?” Allow me to relieve Pang of guilt…
Shocking news out of Great Britain last week, as Prince Harry confessed nobody in the royal family wants to be king or queen. My initial response was, “Blimey,” “balderdash,” “rubbish” and other assorted words Brits use to express shock and dismay. My secondary response was, “Sign me up. I’m ready.” Suffice it to say, Harry,…