Tell The Chef to Separate My Food

As the summer winds down and my stomach thanks me for my generosity during three months of barbecues, graduation parties and neighborhood festivals, I am still proud of myself for shunning a food group that has burst into the culinary world and refuses to leave. Portmanteau food. Quick English lesson: A portmanteau is two words…

Is It Morning TV News If Nobody Laughs?

WRITER’S NOTE: This column was written after a summer spent traveling the country and watching random morning news shows. The writer vows never to do that again. “Rise and shine. This is The Morning News Zoo. I’m Barry O’Brien.” “And I’m co-anchor Teri Sullivan.” “We’ve got Gerry in the weather center…” “Oooh, today’s going to…

Who’s The Old Guy at Lollapalooza?

Last week I briefly stood outside the gates of one of the year’s biggest music festivals, wrestling with my age. As the Chicago skyline shone directly to my west, thousands of teens and 20-somethings wearing plastic wristbands streamed past me. Some waved open purses and backpacks in my direction, assuming I was there to inspect both.…

If My Kids Ever Appeared on Shark Tank

My kids’ current favorite show is Shark Tank, where budding entrepreneurs pitch ideas to a team of corporate tycoons who double as potential investors. While listening to concepts for, among other things, collapsible kayaks and colored fur spray for dogs, my daughters vigorously interrogate the television. “What are your yearly sales?” they ask, before Dallas Mavericks…

If Soccer Parents Ran The World Cup

As the World Cup ambles toward completion, the much-maligned Fédération Internationale de Football Association continues holding its breath in hopes that the “did he or didn’t he/yuck, I guess he did” biting incident involving Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez will go down as the tournament’s most controversial moment. That, or Dutch winger Arjen Robben’s boo-boo, resulting…