I begin this week’s column with a philosophical question: If snow causes schools to be closed while the Internet is functional, it is still a snow day? I pondered this last week when the phone rang at 5:45 a.m., never a good sign as it usually signals something unpleasant is currently happening. So I hesitated to…
I am a fervent March Madness viewer but am dreading this year’s NCAA basketball tournament for I fear the spectacle will be stained with controversy. I’m making my prediction based on the fact that the first two months of this year saw major scandals courtesy of the sporting world. January dawned with Lance Armstrong admitting…
I recently returned from Las Vegas, a city that seems determined to punish nongamblers such as myself by charging exorbitant rates for everyday items. Among my transactions during a three-day visit: $7 for a Diet Pepsi, $8 for a Bud Light and $30 for a visit to the hotel gym. During the trip, I ran out of dental floss but neglected to…
She sat at the bar, calmly texting while nursing a glass of merlot. I tepidly approached the empty stool next to her. “Excuse me,” I said, my gaze traveling from her eyes downward. “Not interested pal,” she replied curtly. “May I just touch it for a moment? Better yet, can I hold it?” “I have…
“Where’s the remote?” I screamed at nobody in particular one recent Saturday. College basketball was about to start and I was determined to catch the entire game, as opposed to spending the first few minutes shoving my hands into our furniture’s every crevasse before actually locating the electronic lifeline to my flat screen. My wife…
I sat at the crowded bar, a full glass of cabernet sauvignon in front of me. The proprietor acted as if I were his only customer. I subtly glanced at the patrons around me, trying to mimic them by sticking my nose far into the glass and inhaling deeply. I pinched the glass stem and…
Several years ago, I went to Tokyo where I got a taste of the Japanese subway system. I say “taste” because my lips were literally pressed to a stranger’s, so congested were the cars. No matter the time of day, the ride went like this: The train lumbered to a stop where hundreds waited to board…
The San Francisco TV reporter was young, perky and brunette. Her interview subject was her polar opposite: male, late 60s and balding, with skin that looked as if it had traveled south for the winter and wasn’t coming back. He was also naked. I came across this rather, um, awkward exchange while channel surfing in…
Here we are just a few weeks into a new year and the flu epidemic has hit our country unusually hard. So hard, in fact, that Boston health officials now greet visitors at the airport and immediately hand them a return ticket and a stern warning to “Go away. Everybody here is sick.” While I remain healthy…
Like millions of Americans, I begin each year vowing to lose a few pounds. As 2013 dawns, I plan to slightly modify my goal, focusing on a single part of my body. Specifically my thumbs. I can’t explain it, but in 2012, the appendages at each end of my hands seemed to get a little…