Summer means barbecuing, an activity that I recently discovered is wonderful for people with absolutely nothing else going on in their lives. I seriously thought 2013 would be the year my wife got a break from cooking between June 1 and Labor Day. She encouraged my desire to share the culinary duties, agreeing that it was time to…
I have frequented numerous Apple stores around the country but, because I do not have employee status, have never seen a back office, stock room or break area. Should this occur, I’m convinced I would also observe a grainy, black-and-white photo of my mother adorning the bulletin board, complete with the following text: “WARNING: 77-year-old…
Almost every single morning, I fire up my computer to see the release of some new study whose results could easily be summed up in one word: Really? Thanks, University of Manitoba, for your study concluding that people who are bullied at work are more likely to quit their jobs. Really? And kudos to researchers…
Another search for Jimmy Hoffa ended recently, with federal authorities once again facing the cameras to say what has become commonplace since the ex-Teamsters’ boss disappeared back in 1975: no, they didn’t find Hoffa’s remains or anything that would lead them to believe they are any closer to solving the nearly 40-year-old mystery. Each time…
An ominous gurgling emanated from the toilet, which meant I had only minutes to act before water and Lord-only-knows-what-else cascaded over the bowl and onto the floor. I grabbed my smartphone and did the obvious: Call a plumber? No. Email my general contractor? No. Log on to YouTube? Absolutely. I seem to rely on…
The Starbucks was buzzing, which was to be expected considering it was just after 8:30 a.m. Still, the line moved swiftly, and within moments, the only customers ahead of me were a woman and her preschool-aged son. She ordered first. “Triple Grande skinny Caramel Macchiato, low foam.” I silently vowed this would be the day…
I am issuing a challenge to our nation’s standup comedians. Before you accept, I suggest you call, email, text and tweet the best joke writers you know because you’re going to need them. Ready? Here’s your task: Make somebody laugh in Lamaze class. If that’s too tough, find a yoga class and perform your best…
My room contained everything one would expect in a five-star property: terrycloth robes emblazoned with the hotel’s logo, slippers precisely placed at the foot of the bed and enough fluffy towels to dry all exposed body parts individually, if that’s what you’re into. A floral scent was noticeable throughout. “This is living,” I thought, as…
I have dreaded this day ever since she got her driver’s permit. It’s one thing to let your daughter drive slowly around the neighborhood with her dad in the passenger seat repeating, “Slow. Slow. SLOW!!!” It’s another to see her proudly displaying her license and imploring me to let her drive somewhere, anywhere, by herself.…
I strode through the hotel lobby in a black, sharply tailored Hugo Boss suit. It was Saturday night and I was headed to the ballroom to deliver a keynote address for more than 800 convention attendees. Suddenly I heard a voice from behind. “Sir?” I turned to see a middle-aged woman quickly approaching. “Yes?” “Where…